


After His Jump (aka mineral water)

by SquishyMushroomLandLord



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Bathroom Sex, Choking, Come Eating, Crying, Don't Judge Me, Drug Use, Fire, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Miscommunication, Oral Sex, Plz do not judge me too much i don't speak English as my first language, Sad, Smut, mineral water
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:40:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25751491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquishyMushroomLandLord/pseuds/SquishyMushroomLandLord
Summary: It's basically a story of how the boys handled the death of their friends.It's sad. They all had sex... except for Jihoon.There is a lot of environmental description and emotional description.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Chan | Dino, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 20
Kudos: 14





	1. The Last Bowl of Pasta

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for what I've done.  
> DO NOT BEAT ME UP..... I SWEAR TO GOD I LOVE JEONGHAN.  
> (But I'm a Hoshi stan...)  
> If you are in love with Jeonghan and you feel the need to beat me up for this, rest assured that my friend/grammar-checker/editor @paranoidfryingpan (who also writes seventeen fanfic owo) has ALREADY done so.  
> Tanku~

(Seungcheol x Jeonghan)

“What did you say?”  
Seungcheol asked Vernon with a trembling voice. The pasta in his hand fell to the ground. The pasta sauce mixed with the fragments of the bowl and spread on the floor.  
“Listen…I don't know what exactly happened. I only saw Joshua talking to the policeman when I came back from the place where they found Jeonghan. You guys were still together the day before yesterday, so why did it happen…"  
The two dark circles under Seungcheol’s eyes looked oddly obvious. His eyebrows are frowning together, but his eyes are wide open. In order to find Jeonghan, Seungcheol hasn’t slept for two whole days. Before his eyes can even focus together, Seungcheol immediately glared towards Vernon, who has been standing at the door. But after slammed into the tears in Vernon's eyes, Seungcheol’s anger retracted like low tide.  
Vernon sighed.  
He put a bottle of mineral water on Seungcheol’s kitchen table, turned, and walked outside of the room. His voice came from the hallway: "We will all be waiting for you over there, where it happened. After all, you are the leader, and you and him are also... you still have to preside over such things.”  
Vernon's voice echoed in the hallway, leaving Seungcheol alone in the room.  
Seungcheol exhaled a stale breath, as if the air coming in through the door was as hot as a desert. The environment around him seemed to be arbitrarily absorbing the little water left in his body. A bitter taste came all the way from his stomach to his throat.  
“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol squinted viciously at the excessively dazzling sunlight, “you are actually doing this to me huh?”  
The sun is so high up in the sky. This huge ball of light made his pupils shrink a little bit. The brightness hurt Seungcheol’s eyes so much that he wanted to cry. His unsettled tears appeared in his eyes, blurring the sun into a halo.  
It reminds Seungcheol of that ring Jeonghan always wears on his pinky.  
Jeonghan’s ring…  
Jeonghan……

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Seungcheol could finally understand why Jeonghan kissed him so much in the past few months, as if he was bidding farewell. He still remembers their last kiss. It was the night before yesterday. That kiss smoothed the wrinkles on Seungcheol’s forehead. He could recall how Jeonghan’s sweet and soft voice floated out of the window and mixed into the rain falling on the street. The sound of the falling rain and the sound of the flesh entanglement were both terrifyingly loud.  
Seungcheol's premonition made him fear that something dark would come at night, so he hurriedly started sex before sunset. Seungcheol remembered that Jeonghan pressed him tightly. His penis was squeezed on Jeonghan sweaty lower abdomen and slipped. Even so, Jeonghan still refused to let go. When Seungcheol closed his eyes, he can recall how warm and soft Jeonghan’s inner thigh was. That night, they were like two fish in the sea of desire. Their skin got covered by a layer of sweat, crushing them to melt into each other’s blood and soul. The physical distance between the two was negative the whole night. They did not speak a word, but communicated spiritually. All the sounds they produced in the room were only Jeonghan’s soft moans and Seungcheol’s deep gasps.  
The small flicker of Jeonghan's ring reflected the street light into Seungcheol's eyes. That tiny spark of light was like a meteor dropping in the universe. The ring reminded Seungcheol of all the good memories he spent with Jeonghan and all the years they lived together. He remembered their first time doing it, Jeonghan yelled at him while panting. He seemed mad, but his legs were tightly wrapped around Seungcheol. Seungcheol liked his weirdness and unrestrained nature. He also liked to watch Jeonghan’s long hair hang down from one cheek while he sings.  
Jeonghan put his legs around Seungcheol's waist and put his head deep in Seungcheol's neck. He held the back of Seungcheol's head, and whispered in Seungcheol’s ears: “Seungcheol, Seungcheol… I'm sorry…..I’m…. sorry.”  
His hair was fluffy and soft, with the scent of plants after the rain. Seungcheol liked to send him to the peak of orgasm, and watch him tilt his head back, flicking his long hair in the air, making a charming arc. His eyes seemed to be filled with starlight. When Seungcheol pressed him under his body, their eyes met. Seungcheol felt that those eyes can embed him six feet under the ground, and then smashing his soul to pieces without any effort. Jeonghan to him was like the early spring rain falling on a street lamp, or a fairy in Brazil’s forest.  
It's just that Seungcheol doesn't know that they won't last long. He never knew Jeonghan's bitter cry late at night and his painful sobbing in the hospital. He didn't know that Jeonghan was the caught fish that slipped out of the hands of Death. He was the Cinderella Seungcheol borrowed at midnight, and he has to return this gift when the time comes.  
Jeonghan put his fingers into Seungcheol’s messy hair and combed them through it. He gently held Seungcheol’s shoulders and let him rest on his chest. His heart beat across two layers of skin. The half-dry bodily fluids and sweat were still on their bodies, and their lower halves were exposed to each other's sight. After experiencing Jeonghan's enthusiastic request, Seungcheol raised his eyelids. A hot tear came out from the corner of his eye, as if he had a premonition of the future ending of their story.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

A teardrop fell on the floor, pulling Seungcheol back to reality. He smiled for some reason when he saw the sharp fragments of what was once a bowl and the pasta all mixed together on the floor. He felt that this mess was just like his life right now. He once lived a “delicious” life, but the news that Vernon brought to him was like the bowl residue that stabbed in his soft pasta-like heart.  
Jeonghan, I wasted the food you cooked, your favorite food. Why aren’t you coming home to yell at me?  
Seungcheol's eyes were wide open. Tears streamed down his cheeks. It seemed like he had forgotten how to breathe. After staring at the pasta for a really long time, he finally opened his mouth and swallowed air rapidly. He felt like the air turned into thousands of wasps, buzzing in his painful chest.  
"Why are you doing this to me?” Seungcheol yelled at the air.  
Nobody answered.  
The smell of Jeonghan still seemed to be floating around the room. Seungcheol seemed to be able to see his long hair spread out on the couch after taking a shower. He could still see Jeonghan’s lips stained with water droplets glowing in the dark.  
"Why are you doing this? You could have told me." Seungcheol mumbled, “You could have told me before all this happened. We could have faced this together my love…”  
The noon sun was quite annoying right at that moment. Seungcheol felt that his mood suited the rainstorm the day before yesterday a bit more —— crying in the bright suns seemed a bit lame —— but there was no trace of a rainstorm in the sky.  
Car horns and bicycle bells pass into the room from the window. Countless sounds bound together like microorganisms floating in the sea, connecting to form a silent and tacit community. The bright sun, the loud noise…everything seemed to be reminding Seungcheol that this was the cruel reality that he could not run away from.  
Seungcheol squatted down to clean up the mess on the floor. His soft fingertips pressed against the irregularly cut edges, a trace of bright red stained the shards of the broken bowl. He stood up, holding the shards of porcelain. Suddenly, the phone rang on the table —— lighting up with a notification. Seungcheol subconsciously turned his head and looked at the phone screen, the headline of Aug 12nd, 2020 reflected in his eyes:  
“Due To Cancer, Seventeen Member Yoon Jeonghan Committed Suicide By Jumping Off A Building Last Night.”  
Seungcheol stopped breathing for a second, and then said softly,  
"Jeonghan, there is no pasta in the fridge anymore…”


	2. Don't Wanna Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks about Wonwoo and Mingyu.  
> Also rough sex.

(Wonwoo x Mingyu)

Wonwoo clicked on the screen and saw a message from Jihoon:  
Jeonghan jumped off of a building.  
It felt like someone poured a bottle of cold water on Wonwoo's head. He shivered.  
The emptiness of losing his member made Wonwoo slowly sat on the couch.  
Wonwoo stroked the book in his hand and watched his tears blur the writings on the book. He thought this was good. If only that message was so vague and inaccurate as the writings on the book. Why do you have to say it with such a defined tone? What if there’s a chance of saving him back?  
When he was distracted, Mingyu had already entered the room. His eyes seemed very empty: apparently, he got the message too.  
"Hyung, are you ok?" Mingyu sat on the armrest of the couch and put his hand on Wonwoo's shoulder. But Wonwoo didn't answer. He just sobbed with his head down.  
"I'll drive and we'll go to the place together. I hear Seungcheol is on his way with Vernon now, so we have to leave. " Mingyu got up and wanted to go get the car key. But Wonwoo suddenly grabbed his forearm.  
Warm tears dripped on Mingyu's skin, which made his heart tremble.  
"You won't leave me, will you? You don't? " Wonwoo asked Mingyu in a barely audible voice.  
"We'll be fine." Mingyu didn't give a straight-up answer. He kissed on Wonwoo's forehead.  
The lamp in the corner of the room sprinkles soft light on the two’s bodies as if a gentle mother was soothing their injured hearts.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

In the car, Wonwoo was a little confused. The pain of losing his member made him constantly have flashbacks of Seventeen stages or trainee experiences as if only the good memories can cover the cruelty of reality.  
Memories go back to 2015.  
Wonwoo and Mingyu came to PLEDIS together as trainees when they were both in junior high. His lazy and slow personality, compared with Mingyu's careful and enthusiastic personality, seem to be as different as the two levels of a magnet. However, in the day-to-day practice in the green room, the two people who are so different fit together like a set of special key and lock. No one could do without the other.  
As time goes by, Wonwoo has grown a lot. From the previous thin and small boy, he actually became almost as tall as Mingyu. For Mingyu, he was a bit sad to see his hyung growing taller now: now he can’t hug Wonwoo into his chest. But he thought his hyung looked even better after growing taller.  
However, in the face of the company's difficulties, multiple trainee companions left them along the way. There were also new trainees joining in. Both of them were worried about the reality and their future, but they were powerless. They had to rely on each other and practice harder and harder: they needed to stick through those long nights. They were like two drifters on a wooden board in a vast ocean: no one knew when the floating object carrying them would suddenly break off.  
Finally, in 2015, they debuted together.  
For Mingyu, even if Wonwoo is his hyung, he had always been the one who took care of Wonwoo: no matter it was the time as trainees in the green room or now.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

The car continued to drive on the road, but it ran into a traffic jam in the city.  
Mingyu was so thirsty that he called Wonwoo in the back seat to get him a bottle of mineral water from the trunk for him.  
Wonwoo handed Mingyu the mineral water with one hand, but his eyes were fixed on the costumes in the trunk.  
It was a signing session with the theme of cosplay.  
At the session, Wonwoo pulled up the sleeve of his white shirt and showed his slender arm. The black-tie around his neck was down to the height of his crotch - the flight captain's look really suited him.  
Mingyu, who played the role of a doctor, held his stethoscope and put it on Wonwoo's left chest. They heard a shrill screaming under the stage.  
Mingyu asked quietly.  
“Hyung, will you come to my room tonight?"  
In the eyes of the fans, Wonwoo is still that smiley, cool seventeen members who had no choice but to play a sitcom with his younger team member. But only Mingyu heard Wonwoo's heart beating faster as if his heart was nodding for his head and saying:  
“Yes.”  
In the evening, Wonwoo came to Mingyu's room.  
He bit his lips and lay down nervously on the left side of the bed. As soon as his body touched the bed, Mingyu, who had been following him, immediately occupied the position on his right side, as if other members were going to come in and lie on the bed.  
It was not the only time Wonwoo had been sleeping with Mingyu, but he had an unspeakable feeling. It was a queen-size bed, but the two people were so tightly squeezed together that they only occupied two-thirds of the whole bed.  
To be honest, every human being is able to lie on a bed without moving around all the time. But when Mingyu felt Wonwoo's thin and cool fingers crossing touching the back of his head, he just couldn’t stop his body to move even closer to Wonwoo.  
Slowly narrowing the distance between the two, Mingyu did not know whether he was still looking at the fan messages on Wonwoo’s phone, or just Wonwoo’s good-looking fingers scrolling on the phone.  
He poured some wine for Wonwoo. The two just lay in bed and drank, occasionally talking about a few words about fans.  
Mingyu felt Wonwoo's right foot slid in between his legs.  
Wonwoo's toes were cold.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Wonwoo had quite a lot of wine today. A stream of heat poured from his abdomen to his chest, making his whole body warmer. He stopped scrolling on his cell phone and turned to kiss Mingyu.  
Outside the window of their room, there were many tall buildings with neon lights standing far away. Colorful lights shined in their room, setting off the environment more erotic.  
Wonwoo laid on the pillow with his head dangling. He tightened his arm around Mingyu's neck and kissed Mingyu more and more.  
"I love you, Mingyu."  
Mingyu seemed to hear Wonwoo open his mouth and say something to him, but the noise in the street and the noise of cars drowned out Wonwoo's voice.  
It was quite warm in the room, but Wonwoo felt the fire burning inside of him got put down completely.  
Why didn’t he answer me?  
Mingyu didn't know why Wonwoo was crying. He kissed Wonwoo on the cheek and licked his ears. He left hickeys and teeth marks on Wonwoo's neck and clavicles. Soon, their hugs became intertwined bodies. Mingyu kissed deeply as if he wanted to suffocate Wonwoo. He went deeper than usual into Wonwoo's body and felt the hot temperature inside Wonwoo's body. Their ribs collided. Mingyu clasped Wonwoo's shoulder blades and held him tighter.  
He pushed Wonwoo all the way to the other side of the bed and put his hand over his head to sit up against the wall. Wonwoo curled his legs around Mingyu’s waist. Mingyu pushed forward again, making their intertwined sexual organs the only fulcrum for Wonwoo's body. Wonwoo sobbed and pushed Mingyu’s shoulder down and stammered, “No more….. It's too deep... "  
Mingyu felt a bit sorry for Wonwoo, so he grabbed Wonwoo's wrists and put them behind Wonwoo's back and put him on the bed. He moved gently in Wonwoo's body while biting his erected nipple. Mingyu stretched his tongue around Wonwoo's pale areola and put his lips against Wonwoo's thin chest. Wonwoo groaned with tears while his muscle held Mingyu's penis even tighter. He felt Mingyu’s penis pumping inside him. Wonwoo's warm body clung to the furrows on Mingyu's penis, as if their bodies were born to have sex with each other.  
Wonwoo's penis, sandwiched between their stomachs, wobbles helplessly in the air. Mingyu held it. His fingers are very long, and there is a callous formed by holding a pen on Mingyu’s middle finger of his right hand. His fingers stuck to Wonwoo's penis and rub against the furrows under the tip of his penis. He used his thumb to dip the grease from Wonwoo's penis, spreads it over the entire penis, then tightens the finger from bottom to top and then releases it. He gently kneaded Wonwoo's most vulnerable and sensitive body part.  
Wonwoo's inner thighs were rubbed till red. He wanted to close his cramping legs, but he couldn't give up the warmth in his body. Mingyu pressed on him and bit his upper lip. With multiple stimulations, Wonwoo came quickly. But when he came, he accidentally hit Mingyu's chin. Wonwoo tasted a rusty smell in Mingyu's mouth when he kissed: he made a cut inside Mingyu's mouth.  
Mingyu speeds up the frequency of his movement in Wonwoo's body. He finally came when Wonwoo felt his own legs shivering. When Mingyu pulled out, he brought out a stream of semen from Wonwoo's body.  
Wonwoo put his hand on his stomach and fantasized whether other people have sex in the same way.  
But why didn't he give me a reply?  
Why didn't he tell me he loved me, too?

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

In retrospect, Wonwoo's mood got worse.  
The car finally stopped at the gate of the destination. The window rolled down, and Wonwoo saw Minghao's face.  
"You're here..." Minghao forced out a smile —— nobody can actually smile in this situation —— "Hyung, you can go in first. Joshua and the others are already in the reception room. I’ll lead Mingyu to park the car."  
When Wonwoo got out of the car and watched Mingyu driving Minghao to the underground garage, he seemed to be lost in his mind.  
Wonwoo didn't know when it all started, but he found that Mingyu was no longer as attached to himself as before. Probably since the arrival of that Chinese boy.  
Mingyu finally found someone of the same age, so he gradually parted from me?  
Wonwoo witnessed the relationship between Mingyu and Minghao getting better and better: they went out eating, shopping, and traveling together, while Wonwoo just stayed at home and read books.  
No one can detect Wonwoo's low mood under his plain expression.  
Was it because of our personality? We do have a very different personality.  
Wonwoo had always been very grateful to Mingyu for taking care of him. But they are not in a relationship.  
Mingyu shouldn’t have to do this…  
Wonwoo thought about it and felt that he was the one to blame. Looking back on all these years, he was not very active and always enjoyed Mingyu’s care passively. He thought that even if they couldn’t be in a relationship in the public like Seungcheol and Jeonghan, they could still go on. But he didn't expect that his soft personality may have caused Mingyu a great illusion.  
Even when we were most intimate, he didn't say he loved me anyway…  
Wonwoo thought if he asks Mingyu who he loves right this moment, Mingyu's answer was probably going to be another person:  
Xu Minghao.

"Bang Bang Bang…”  
His trail of thoughts stopped when he heard the knock on the door. "Hyung, it's Minghao and I. Can you open the door?" Wonwoo lay down on the couch in the reception room. Looking at the white ceiling, Wonwoo whispered emotionless:  
“Since there will be no result between us, it's better to end it…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people!  
> Thank you for reading~ Comments are appropriated.  
> So I already had this whole fanfic done. All the chapters are about different ships. If anyone wants me to upload all of them at once or develop a schedule, plz comment.  
> Also, I added the picture of Wonwoo and Mingyu that inspired me to write this chapter! I hope you guys like it.  
> Thank you, and please leave me suggestions or questions if you want.


	3. The Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol x Jeonghan Carrrrrrr sex.  
> Yeet yeet!

(Seungcheol x Jeonghan)

When Seungcheol woke up again, he had been taken out of the house by Vernon. They got in the car, and Vernon drove him to the place where Jeonghan jumped off.  
"I was worried about you, so I asked Vernon to go back and check on you after he went downstairs. We found you fainted on the ground. Vernon called your name several times and you woke up. You really scared us, Seungcheol.” Joshua patted Seungcheol on the shoulder and handed him a bottle of mineral water.  
Seungcheol clearly saw tears on Joshua's face. He knew that Joshua, as Jeonghan's ex-boyfriend, was no less sad than he was. He nodded to thank Joshua.  
Seungcheol looked around. He realized that Jeonghan's chosen place of death was a small and famous hotel. The hotel was very artistic, and it often held music festivals and other activities in the back garden surrounded by hotel buildings.  
As a member of seventeen, and as the team leader, Seungcheol needed to lead the team members to release the whole incident to the public. But he was not in a state at all. He was in a trance all the time. Thus, Seungkwan took over the main task of making the statement.  
Seungcheol could see that everyone was very sad, but when he opened his mouth, he could not say the words "everything will pass”.  
Maybe it's because, in his heart, he doesn't want things to go away at all.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

As a very popular K-pop boy group in South Korea, numerous people attended this news conference hosted by PLEDIS. On the day after receiving the news, Seungcheol and other members were standing on the stage where performances were often held in the back garden of the hotel. Receiving the eyes and flashlights of countless reporters and CARATs, Seungcheol felt as if he had been condemned by everyone. For some reason, the host decided to play Happy Ending as BGM. Maybe they thought this could enlighten the atmosphere, but Seungcheol has the impulse to smash the speaker when he hears the word "happy ending" and Jeonghan’s voice in the song.  
The sound quality of the stereo is not very good, and the weather today is very disturbing too. The fierce wind made the fans who were already very radical off stage look more like dead souls.  
Like Jeonghan.  
Seungcheol vaguely saw Jeonghan standing off stage, waving to him.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Such terrible weather reminded Seungcheol of Seventeen's performance experience in Pusan long ago. It was the same kind of weather that makes you unable to open your eyes.  
It was a hurricane near the ocean.  
The ocean water that got brought up by the gale blocked the stereo, so the accompaniment of the song could not be played at all. PLEDIS was forced to suspend the entire performance. The sweeping wind raised the water all the way up in the air, creating fog-like weather, making the vision extremely poor. The audience looked for a nearby cottage to hide. People who didn’t know each other three minutes ago can get along well in the blink of an eye, sharing mineral water or jokes in the same car.  
The salty water and dust blurred Seungcheol eyes. He felt his eyes tearing crazily in the wind. He squinted and opened the door of the driver's seat on his own gray SUV. He lowered his head and rubbed his eyes for a while before he could open his eyes full of tears to vaguely see the person’s figure already sitting in the back seat.  
It was Joshua.  
"Are you here to fight me, Josh?" Seungcheol wiped away his tears, trying to make himself look more authoritative. But his firm grip on the steering wheel gave away his nervousness.  
"Since you took him away from me, treat him well." Joshua didn't stop to make a long statement. He opened the back door of the car. A gust of wind and moisture swept away Joshua’s figure.  
The harsh sea wind blew into the car at night, making the originally hot summer suddenly turned cold. Seungcheol tasted seawater and sand in his mouth.  
Joshua’s behavior actually surprised Seungcheol a little. After all, Jeonghan just broke up with Joshua for Seungcheol himself.  
Joshua should be very angry at him.  
He thought about what sort of fierce quarrel could have happened, but immediately got interrupted by the opening sound of the back car seat.  
Seungcheol straightened his arms and turned on the light in the car.  
It was Jeonghan.  
The wild wind blew all the fog from the sea to his clothes. Seungcheol could vaguely see the muscle lines under Jeonghan's translucent shirt. When he saw Jeonghan’s half-wet hair, Seungcheol swallowed a bit of saliva to calm himself down.  
Jeonghan sat at the corner of the back seat behind the diver’s sear. He smiled at Seungcheol while holding a pair of scissors. The flimsy car light tripped under a few seconds of wind attack containing a sand and seawater. Seungcheol can’t see anything in the car.  
The sound of the blade rubbing against keratin was very clear in the dark. After a while, Seungcheol heard the sound of metal objects falling to the ground.  
The familiar smell of plants after the rain guided Seungcheol to film over the barrier between the front and back seat towards the heat source. Jeonghan's breath gradually stabilized him in this catastrophic hurricane. He took a deep breath against Jeonghan's neck. Jeonghan's hands crossed his sides and clasped his back. The familiar smell completely covered Seungcheol, and the long-lost stability caused him to turn sideways on the back seat and curl up.  
Jeonghan's palm still has a hint of metal coolness and wetness from the wet wind outside. He touched Seungcheol's hand from his waist, and gently and firmly broke his fingers apart from one by one, interlocking his fingers. Then he raised Seungcheol's fingers to his lips and kissed them carefully.  
Seungcheol felt that Jeonghan was peeling his heart layer by layer, just like how he was peeling off Seungcheol’s clothes.  
Why are you treat me this way? Why are you trying to top me?  
Jeonghan's long legs reached the car ceiling of the front seat, fumbling for the light switch with his flexible toes. Looking towards the inside of the car from the outside, passengers could only vaguely see a long bare leg reflected from the foggy windows. Then the light went out completely and nothing could be seen.  
When Seungcheol came in Jeonghan's mouth, he had no other thoughts. He was just curious about why Jeonghan was so dominant today. He raised his hand to touch Jeonghan's face. He felt Jeonghan’s round forehead and soft brow bones, but he couldn't feel Jeonghan's emotions. Even though Seungcheol has always wanted to act as a protagonist, the leader of the team, and a perfect protector, he can clearly see the dominance power in Jeonghan’s eyes.  
Nobody knew where the lube was. When Seungcheol squeezed half a tube of lotion and wiped it on Jeonghan’s body, he realized that it was Jeonghan's hand cream that he left in Seungcheol’s car. The smell of shea butter immediately filled the whole car, which awkwardly seemed a bit too warm and family-style on this extremely sexual occasion. Jeonghan didn't say anything. His kisses fell on Seungcheol's eyelids. His lower lip rubbed against Seungcheol's thick eyelashes and his hot and humid breath hit Seungcheol's face, making him feel a bit itchy.  
"Seungcheol," Jeonghan sat on Seungcheol's penis. It took him a while to take in the whole length. He pressed Seungcheol's shoulder and murmured, "I just cut my hair short.”  
Seungcheol's knee moved forward, causing Jeonghan to fall back abruptly. Jeonghan utters a charming moan by the sudden sinking. Seungcheol felt the jagged and cut hair tips on Jeonghan's ears. His thin hair was tied into Seungcheol palm, then the hair slipped out of Seungcheol fingers. Jeonghan's hair that just got cut was still filled with the smell and temperature of Jeonghan. Seungcheol retracted his hand and gently kissed Jeonghan's ear.  
"Why?" Seungcheol whispered.  
Jeonghan smiled in the dark, with a bit of mischief.  
"So you will be the first one to see me with this new look."  
Seungcheol squeezed his back and pressed him under. He pushed himself into Jeonghan's body on his knees. Seungcheol gently bit on Jeonghan's bare shoulders. Jeonghan is very skinny: his obvious collarbone extends all the way to his shoulder, making his thin shoulder a right angle. Seungcheol's teeth were rubbed against Jeonghan's shoulder. Jeonghan was torn apart by the irregular tingling on his shoulder and the pleasure of thrusting inside him. Seungcheol licks the vein in Jeonghan's neck with the tip of his tongue. Jeonghan's action and his own desire to conquer made him think that this person’s life and sexual pleasure, Jeonghan’s life and sexual pleasure, are dominated by him, and he has never been a substitute.  
I am not just a random replacement for Joshua.  
He leaned on Jeonghan's body, and his thrusting movements became more intense. The purpose of sex changed from pleasure to a sense of accomplishment.  
Jeonghan's arms hanging by the car seat spread out into an arc of orgasmic. His spread fingers drew a semicircle along his wrist and landed on Seungcheol's neck, like the neck of a swan. Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol with an obsessive look. Seungcheol’s soul trembled.  
"Seungcheol, I love you.”  
He gently tightened the fingers that circled Seungcheol's neck. Seungcheol breathed hardly and rapidly in Jeonghan's palm, but he didn’t feel anything uncomfortable.  
On the contrary, he seemed to fell into a hope of whiteness and extreme pleasure.  
Seungcheol's defense was easily broken by Jeonghan’s single hand. Jeonghan deeply kissed Seungcheol's tears and kissed the sweat on his forehead. Seungcheol's neck in his hand became hotter and softer, making him reluctant to let go.  
Seungcheol's intermittent breathing and up-rolling eyes testified his failure to top Jeonghan tonight. His neck seemed to become a second dick on his body, tuning extremely sensitive under the hands of Jeonghan. He felt his pulse beating excitedly in Jeonghan's palm. Seungcheol twitched with the feeling of suffocation and the excitement of hearing the words "I love you", and came into Jeonghan's body. Jeonghan’s saliva in his mouth turned into a minty taste.  
Jeonghan, like heroin, like marijuana, like ecstasy, made him addicted.  
The wind was blowing harder and harder outside the car window, only to leaving the sound of “bang-bang--" outside the window: the door of a small cottage got slammed to close under the power of the wind. The violent wind roared and hit the car window, making a low "whoo0o0o0" sound from time to time. Even the earth seemed to be trembling.  
But the inside of the car was unusually warm and dissolute.  
Seungcheol whimpered and fell on Jeonghan's chest. Jeonghan let go of the hand imprisoned on his neck and then hugged his shoulder harder, turning Seungcheol over and pressing him on the bed.  
Seungcheol's shoulder blades tightened backward on the car seat. He felt like an angel whose wings were broken by Jeonghan, struggling to get out of the car. Jeonghan's kiss fell on Seungcheol's red neck, licking along the tips of his ears.  
Seungcheol knew that he was completely defeated by Jeonghan, and could never fly again.  
This was Seungcheol's first time learning how to take in. His tensed up muscles stucked the tip of Jeonghan's penis outside of his body. Embarrassingly annoying, Seungcheol made a muffled noise. The sweat on his body caused by his nervousness seemed to be rising Jeonghan's new round of desire. Seungcheol arced his back, allowing Jeonghan to touched his curved spine bone by bone. From the back of his neck all the way to the tail vertebra, Jeonghan gradually slid a finger inside of Seungcheol.  
Finally, after a while of fingering, a bigger and stranger soreness spread from behind. Seungcheol didn’t know if Jeonghan was experiencing such a harsh pain every time. He completely handed himself over to Jeonghan. He hopes to feel all of Jeonghan's existence inside of him. Jeonghan's hand stretched out from behind, covering the back of his stiff hand. Seungcheol sighed during the intermittent thrusts and saw only a faint ring mark on Jeonghan's fingers.  
The inverted top and bottom made this sexual experience not very comfortable at all, but Seungcheol seemed to have opened the door to a new world. He was shaking all over. After Jeonghan pulled away from his body, Seungcheol felt his body temperature dropped a lot. But at the same time, Seungcheol felt a fire burning in his chest, and the crackling sound of dry wood came from deep in his bones. Jeonghan rubbed Seungcheol’s side waist gently. They were like two pieces of puzzle pieces, locking each other tightly.  
Forever…

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

You said you love me…. Jeonghan….You told me that.  
And now, you are just going to leave me alone in this meaningless world?  
Seungcheol's thoughts returned to the present.  
Holding Seokmin and Hoshi in his hands, Seungcheol looked into the distance.


	4. Call Call Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of Soonyoung and Seokmin's relationship.  
> No sex.

(Hoshi x Seokmin)

When the car’s front lights went out in the garage, Hoshi finally had the time to pull out his phone to see his schedule today.  
The words on his calendar reflected in his eyes, but he didn't see a word: he just mechanically scrolled on the screen.  
Why? Why him?  
The emotion that has been deeply buried at yesterday's release conference broke out Hoshi's body in the empty garage. Hoshi frantically pounded the steering wheel with his fists, as if the pain caused by hurting his hands could relieve his sadness.  
Jeonghan's figure still wandered deep in Hoshi's memory. Out of nowhere, Hoshi recalled the scene when Jeonghan fed him fruit.  
Under the purplish-red shell was the soft white flesh. Jeonghan's fingers, soaked in lychee juice, glistened in the sun.  
Hoshi remembered himself teasingly to swallowed Jeonghan's fingers in his mouth with the fruit. He will never forget the touch of Jeonghan's fingers and taste of fruit in his life.  
Jeonghan quickly pulled his finger out of Hoshi’s mouth and stared at Hoshi with a bit of a surprise. He opened a bottle of mineral water and handed it to Hoshi to cool him down. But Hoshi just stared at his eyes.  
"Your fingers are sweeter than lychee.”  
Hoshi's tears dripped on the steering wheel. The salty wetness of his tears mixed with the smell of leather in the car, made him felt sick and nauseous.  
Why did you choose to do this, Jeonghan?

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

As soon as he opened the car door, Hoshi heard the sound of a motorcycle engine in the distance.  
It was Seokmin who came to him.  
"Soonyoung! The company told us to meet at the headquarters. We have to discuss what to do next, after Jeonghan…. You wanna ride the motorcycle with me? "  
The clear voice reached Hoshi's ears: Seokmin’s voice is always comfortable to hear.  
Hoshi looked up and saw Seokmin on his motorcycle taking off his black helmet with fluorescent green spray paint. He tossed his messy dark brown hair and gave Hoshi a bright smile.  
Seokmin looked like he walked straight out from the music video of Call Call Call. He straddled on his heavy Harley motorcycle and looked at Hoshi. His thin eyelids, his wheat-colored skin, his sexy lips, and the small mole on his left cheek all sparkled in the afternoon sun. The wide black leather jacket and leather pants make Seokmin's legs seemed even longer.  
Hoshi always knew that his best friend is the happiest person alive, but he never thought about how cute he looks.  
Hoshi suddenly felt that he might have fallen in love with his best friend. He kept staring at Seokmin's slender body, and his eyes finally fell on Seokmin's jawline.  
Seokmin obviously misunderstood Hoshi. He thought Hoshi was still in the agony of losing his first crush and thought he was disturbing Hoshi. He pouted and lowered his head, focused on playing with the buckle of his helmet.  
Hoshi adjusted his mood.  
His heart was still hard to calm down because of Jeonghan's death, but he couldn’t tell where his heart belongs right now.  
"Wait for me, and we'll go together."  
Seokmin never called Hoshi as hyung.  
Yes, he is evading the psychological guilt this way. It seems as if not calling him hyung would make Lee Seokmin and Kwon Soonyoung individuals separated from the society, so they can wave the rainbow flag together under Seokmin's unilateral will.  
But he knew that Hoshi's love never focused on himself.  
Hoshi only regards him as his best friend.  
But what if…? What if there is a little bit of me in his heart?  
While he was thinking, Hoshi finished packing and stood at the door: His hair shined so bright that Seokmin's eyes got blinded for a second.  
Hoshi seemed to have the same color of hair as the sun.  
They got on the motorcycle.  
Hoshi habitually put his hands around Seokmin's chest and put his head behind Seokmin's neck. Seokmin's body is very thin but very warm. As Hoshi stares at Seokmin's back, Seokmin has already started his motorcycle on the road.  
The wind was blowing in their faces, so loud that the two could hardly hear each other. But Seokmin was still joking with Hoshi. Hoshi couldn't see his expression, but he knew that Seokmin must be smiling when he said, “Don't be sad. I promise you Scoups is sadder than you are right now. If you cry like this a few more times, Scoups might think you have an affair with Jeonghan! And you know what Scoups is gonna do if he actually thinks that..."  
Hoshi patted Seokmin on the back, laughing. This was his first time laughing after Jeonghan’s death.  
In this circumstance, only Lee Seokmin has the ability to make fun of people to enliven the atmosphere.  
The motorcycle ran down the unmanned roads. The two boys had a final destination, but no one knows where their hearts are going.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Hoshi took Seokmin back to his house.  
It has been nearly a month since Jeonghan passed away. After a short break, PLEDIS disbanded Seventeen. They send Vernon to the US and made Hoshi, DK, and Seungkwan returned on stage as a new group, BooSeokSoon. Rehearsals and variety shows kept going.  
Because this is their job.  
This is life.  
Seokmin's apartment was being repaired, so he moved into Hoshi's house temporarily.  
In the past two months, Hoshi found that his feelings for Seokmin became more and more sexual. When he was most sad and desperate, Seokmin stayed by his side and accompany him through the painful days of losing Jeonghan.  
Yes, Seokmin has been by his side for all these years...  
While Hoshi was thinking, Seokmin had already occupied the bathroom to take a shower.  
Hoshi stood outside the door and let his mind gallop in the sound of water until Seokmin walked out of the bathroom.  
"Go wash yourself. You are really dirty right now.”  
"You used my body wash….”  
“No I didn’t.”  
“Come on, Seokmin…You literally smell like mint right now.”  
Hoshi threw his coat on Seokmin's head. He turned to Seokmin's side, leaned around, and smelled Seokmin's body. The most common mint body wash swayed a new kind of taste on Seokmin. It could be just Hoshi’s illusion, but in his mind, Seokmin should be made up of all good things that are fresh and soft.  
Seokmin stiffened his back visibly, curled up his fingers, and walked away without even looking at Hoshi.  
Although Seokmin's body was no stranger to contact with Hoshi, he always felt that recently, Hoshi’s touch felt different.  
He enjoyed it, but he was also afraid.  
He feared that Hoshi's interest in him is just a means by Hoshi to divert his attention from the sadness of losing Jeonghan.  
Seokmin didn’t want to lose Hoshi. Even if this means he needs to keep some distance so they can stop at the friend level.  
Hoshi felt that it was impossible for Seokmin to respond to his love. Seokmin must feel that they are just bros, how could he accept this kind of love?  
Seokmin… Do you see my love for you as the wind passing by? Invisible, intangible, but I can only use it to move your hair?  
One of them was the rain in the south, gentle falling all year round; the other was the snow in the north, suddenly dropping a thick layer of obsession.  
Unfortunately, no one knew what the other person was thinking about.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... just to clarify.  
> I'm NOT portraying Soonyoung as a fuck boy or cheater. He is not in love with Jeonghan and Seokmin at the same time. Jeonghan to him was more of a "first crush" kind of thing a long time ago when they were still trainees.  
> Also, I add a picture of Soonyoung and Seokmin during Going Seventeen (it's from past life destiny). They are so cute!
> 
> Please leave comments and ask me anything you want! Thanks for reading. :D


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vernon x Seungkwan having sex for the first time.  
> Seungkwan TOPS!

(Vernon x Seungkwan)

Vernon took a sip of mineral water from his water bottle to smooth down the taste of the awfully cooked ramen. He didn’t think the ramen was even cooked.  
But he didn’t have a high expectation for delivery food anyway.  
A few days after the conference, everything seemed to be developing in a bad direction.  
Jeonghan left this world. Public opinion was attacking Seventeen and PLEDIS every day, saying that they abused the members who had cancer, and that was the reason why he chose to kill himself.  
But in fact, no one in Seventeen knew Jeonghan was ill before this happened. No one knew why he never mentioned it.  
Vernon sighed sitting on his bed.  
He could not forget his heartache when he saw Seungcheol fainted on the kitchen floor. But he felt even more sorry for Joshua: after all, Joshua found Jeonghan’s body himself.  
He could not imagine what kind of pain the others were suffering.  
But he himself was not doing well either. The company insisted on disbanding Seventeen. Only Vernon knows about this decision right now, because the company planned to send him to the United States for a solo debut in the next few days.  
Who actually cares about me? Nobody…  
The messy reality made the food in his mouth even more tasteless.  
"I know it's not tasty, but you have to eat something." Seungkwan took the chopsticks from Vernon’s hand and put them in his own mouth, "Don't think about anything else, you can't stop the world from changing.” His eyes were bright, Vernon reached out and rubbed his hair. He was sure that Seungkwan had supper powers like professor X from the marvel comic books he was reading lately, which is why Seungkwan always knows what he was thinking.  
Vernon laughed inexplicably.  
Seungkwan glanced at his watch, "Today is the Liberation Day, and also the last day of Jeonghan’s memorial. You gotta finish your meal before 9. I don't want to miss the fire."  
But Vernon is not in the mood of eating. When he thought about the fact that he would be leaving the country and Seungkwan in a few days, a feeling of regret would flow up in his heart.  
Why didn't I go further with Seungkwan?  
When neither of them noticed, Vernon had already kissed on Seungkwan's lips. He gently bit on Seungkwan's lower lip and waited for a rejection, but all he could hear was the springs underneath them making a squeaking noise.  
They looked at each other: no one knows whether the emotion in the other's eyes is sadness or sexual desire.  
After getting the acquiescence from Seungkwan, Vernon buried himself in Seungkwan’s neck and kissed his chin and ears. He listened to the Seungkwan muttering in his ear in a clear voice: "You know what, I’ve actually dreamed of this before for so many times: you and I having sex on your bed.”  
Vernon pulled the sweater off by the back collar and stretched his arm muscles, showing the exquisite muscle lines lying around his body. He leaned down and tried to top Seungkwan, but before he could have a reaction, Seungkwan already flipped their body position and ride on top of him. He felt Seungkwan's scorching gaze sticking to his chest and abdomen. He was going to say something like “I thought I would be on top”, but Seungkwan already lowered his head and took off Vernon’s jeans. Vernon can feel Seungkwan hot breeze blowing on his penis through his underwear. Seungkwan’s teeth landed on the elastic band of his underwear, and gradually pulled it down to Vernon’s thigh.  
"Have you slept with other people in our group?……yet?” Seungkwan asked suddenly, tilting his head.  
Vernon shook his head. Sometimes he really didn't understand what Seungkwan was thinking. Why must he propose such an odd question at this time? Seungkwan gently put his hand on Vernon’s penis that was already engorged with blood and rubbed it. He continued to say, “The love triangle we all know in our group is Scoops, Jeonghan, and Joshua. Jun, Xuminghao, Wonwoo, and Mingyu are also a bit suspicious.” He knelt back a bit and used his small teeth to reach the edge of Vernon's underwear. His chin attached against Vernon's tight abdomen. Seungkwan raised his eyes to look at Vernon, "Of course, ah, there is also the crazy main vocal called Boo Seungkwan who wants to fuck a cute rapper.”  
Vernon grumbled. He pinched the back of Seungkwan's neck to relax him. He sat on the edge of the bed, and held Seungkwan's round but to keep him stable. He kissed on Seungkwan as he entered Seungkwan’s body. The taste of spearmint in Seungkwan's mouth was cool and sweet, gently wrapped both of them into a naked and slutty dream.  
After getting used to the size of Vernon, Seungkwan gradually discovered the joy of dominance. He held Vernon's shoulders and tightened his own muscles to control the tightness around Vernon's penis, making Vernon groan and panted. Then he leaned down to kiss Vernon who was gasping with his mouth open. Seungkwan found that Vernon's upper lip was very thin, and when he opened his mouth, it stretched into a line, revealing his canine.  
Why is he so adorable?  
Seungkwan raised his eyebrows with provocation, and sat back on Vernon's thigh, pressing closely against the front of Vernon's thigh. Vernon lightly bit Seungkwan’s neck when he leaned back. He lifted his right heel and raised his knee to put Seungkwan on his leg. Vernon then held up Seungkwan’s left hand. His kisses went around Seungkwan’s wrist, leaving marks like a red handcuffs. When Vernon raised his knees, Seungkwan slid towards him uncontrollably due to gravity. The tighter angle caused Seungkwan to take in more of Vernon’s penis, squeezing out the smooth and tangled sound of moisture.  
Seungkwan held Vernon's face and kissed the tip of his nose as if he was trying to comfort Vernon’s heart. He always says things that turn Vernon on, "I think your thighs are great. You have really good skin, and they feel extremely sexy to touch. How could we not think of doing this before?”  
Vernon tucked his hips up. His thighs tightened as Seungkwan said the words. He highly suspects that a copy of “How To Properly Fuck Vernon” has already been written inside Seungkwan's magical brain. It seemed that the sex they were having was just a practice exercise for Seungkwan.  
This thought made him fall into a weird sorrow, since he always thought he would be the dominant one if they’d have sex. He did not expect that he wouldn’t even have the chance to resist or take control when he is actually with Seungkwan.  
Seungkwan is sensitive to emotions and captured Vernon's confusion immediately. He lowered his head against Vernon's forehead and pressed against Vernon's body. He was sure that he could completely take control of Vernon's body and sexual pleasure. He saw naiveté and confusion in the eyes of this little boy: Vernon needs a person to guide him towards his future and go through the boundless night of society.  
Vernon thought about the couples Seungkwan had said before. The relationship between the older members in the group made him uncertain about love. He had always been a very fragile “princess”, so he was very careful about revealing his true feelings. He longed for Seungkwan for so long, but he was also afraid. Dancing, singing, and rapping were the disguises he chose to use to hide his love. But today, Seungkwan’s pure and unconcealed obsession for him accepted Vernon’s embarrassment and maladroit.  
Seungkwan knew exactly what he wanted from people and what kind of people he would be attracted to. He pounced firmly towards Vernon with a burning heart. His acceptance of Vernon today was like a moth flying towards fire, completely reckless.  
He knew there would be no results between them.  
But still, I want to light up his smile, Seungkwan thought. He stretched out his hand and hugged Vernon tightly, feeling Vernon responding to him by tightening his arm around Seungkwan. Seungkwan breathed out smoothly. He touched Vernon's arched back and whispered, "I'm will give you anything you want."  
The sentence did not sound like the elderly care for the young, but rather a lover's vow. Vernon didn't feel abrupt by what Seungkwan said. He looked at Seungkwan's eyes frankly: “Hyung… I want to be loved. I don't want to leave everyone and go to America."  
Seungkwan smiled. Soft affection and encouragement came out of his eyes. He felt that he loved Vernon so much as if he was a crazy CARAT. He loved Vernon's body, loved his character, and everything.  
But the perception of love made his heart sore. He already knew the company's arrangements and the future they were signed to.  
They have to part.  
But he still pressed on Vernon's lips persistently, hoping to dissolve Vernon’s fear, even if he can only take one percent of that fear away.  
"You will be back. I will be here waiting for you. Always.”

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a bit more about Vernon x Seungkwan in a future chapter. They didn't end up together.  
> We already know that Vernon is going to the US. What happened to Seungkwan will be revealed in the chapter.  
> Also, I left another cute picture of Vernon and Seungkwan!!!!
> 
> Please leave comments or questions! Thank you!


	6. The Summer Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoshi x Seokmin bathroom sex~  
> And also Seokmin taking care of sick Hoshi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is unusually long. I tried to cut it into 2 chapters, but it just doesn't work.  
> Also, I just love Hoshi.....

(Hoshi x Seokmin)

Hoshi couldn’t fall asleep. He felt extremely thirsty lying next to Seokmin. Although their bodies did not touch each other, Hoshi could still feel Seokmin's body temperature passing from the other side of the bedsheet, like an invisible but close little sun.  
Hoshi felt his penis in his pajamas restlessly agitated. In this quiet night, it seemed that all sounds have been amplified dozens of times. Hoshi was really uncomfortable, so he got out of bed quietly and went to the living room, leaving only a creak of the floor.  
Hoshi took a bottle of mineral water from the refrigerator and recalled what happened during the day today. The prolonged shower this afternoon did not help him to reduce his libido toward Seokmin. His penis was untimely erected because of the slender legs in Seokmin's pants. It was unbelievable for Hoshi that it would take so long to cool down with LITERALLY COLD WATER. The image of water flowing through Seokmin's body uncontrollably appeared in his mind. It must have looked like rain falling on the window, dropping intermittently, accumulating on the edge of the window, reflecting the moonlight.  
Hoshi felt that Seokmin's body must taste like hot cocoa on a winter day.  
He simply followed the primitive instinct in his body and threw the mineral water in his hand on the kitchen table and ran into the bathroom.  
The warm water rushed on Hoshi's body, relaxing his muscles. A thin layer of water droplets covered the two floor-to-ceiling glass walls of the shower room. Hoshi's hand massaged his penis rhythmically, letting out a comfortable moan.  
He was thinking about Seokmin's body and temperature all over his head, but he didn't realize that his impatient movement just made a loud noise, which awakened another person in the house.  
“Soonyoung? What is going on?” A hoarse voice came from behind Hoshi, which startled him quite a lot.  
Hoshi looked back at the bathroom door: Seokmin was already standing at the door of the bathroom rubbing his eyes. Clearly he did not yet realize that Hoshi is naked in front of him. His toes on the ceramic tile were very white even without the light on.  
Hoshi grabbed a towel around his waist and walked out of the shower. But the erect penis forms a small “tent” with a bath towel: covering it really couldn’t hide anything.  
Seokmin finally saw the scene clearly, but not only didn't he understand what Hoshi was doing, but he also didn’t see the desire in Hoshi's eyes at all. He just asked in his still inactive hoarse voice, “Soonyoung, why are you taking a bath in the middle of the night? Is it because the weather is too hot? Do you want me to get you some water? " Then he turned around to walk towards the living room.  
As he turned, his pajamas slipped from his neck, revealing his smooth shoulders.  
Suddenly, Hoshi felt that the cold mineral water he had just drunk disappeared in an instant, and his masturbation did not do anything to help reduce his desire.  
He felt like a warm breath rising from his stomach to his throat, and Seokmin came to him like a late cumulonimbus cloud.  
“Don’t go…”  
Seokmin turned around with confusion in his eyes. Hoshi's gaze fell on Seokmin exposed shoulder uncontrollably.  
Seokmin is obviously taller than Hoshi, but he looks very tiny in Hoshi's pajama. The fabric from his shoulders to the cuffs hangs softly. Half of his palms are tucked into the cuffs. Seokmin looked really confused in the middle of the night. He asked Hoshi with concern: "Are you okay, Soonyoung?"  
“I’m…fine. I’m sorry to wake you up. Was I too loud?”  
Since Seokmin had just been woken up, his voice was a little husky.  
In the dark, Hoshi's gradually walked closer to Seokmin.  
Will Seokmin really taste like hot cocoa?  
Hoshi confirmed his thoughts by kissing Seokmin.  
In the dark, Seokmin widened his eyes. His drowsiness disappeared completely, and what also disappear was his ability to move autonomously. He was half pushed and half carried by Hoshi into the shower.  
Warm water ran from his head to his body, wetted the pajama he was wearing. The moist touch seemed to be reminding him that what happened was real.  
Seokmin trembled intensely. He thought, Hoshi must be really drowsy in the middle of the night: he would never do this if he is with a clear mind. I can't make him regret it when he gets up tomorrow.  
So he bit Hoshi's lower lip. But Hoshi didn't mean to stop at all. The rusty taste penetrated into Hoshi's mouth, and Hoshi brought that taste into Seokmin’s taste buds.  
Out of nowhere, Hoshi suddenly felt a sense of accomplishment: his own blood, a part of himself, entered Seokmin's body.  
Hoshi pressed Seokmin onto the cold glass wall with his limbs. Seokmin felt that his back suddenly got stuck on a cold and wet surface. He shivered.  
Hoshi held Seokmin's jaw to force Seokmin to look at him and said word by word:  
"Seokmin, I’m in love with you."  
Seokmin was stunned. The damp feeling on his body and the cold feeling on his back was no longer sensible at this moment. At that moment, it seemed that all of his wishes had turned into soaring fireworks in his head, blooming in front of his own eyes. Seokmin was so startled that he couldn't move.  
"I... I love you too Soonyoung...I love you more than anything."  
The sentence was like a lighted match being thrown into a withered forest; it was like a catalyst being added to a chemical reaction. With just this sentence, all of Hoshi's desires were ignited.  
He tore off Seokmin's pajamas, and then touched Seokmin’s skin all the way down, only to found that Seokmin was NOT wearing underwear.  
The water hit Hoshi's back and then run down to Seokmin from where the two bodies touch. They are like effervescent flakes falling into the water and melting together.  
Seokmin's body temperature was slightly higher than Hoshi’s. His knees trembled slightly when exposed to the cold air. It is difficult for Hoshi to say whether his physical brain or the instinct of an animal is currently controlling his body. Seokmin's disturbed breathing completely aroused Hoshi's crazy sexual desire.  
After some brief fingering, Hoshi lifted one of Seokmin's leg and squeezed himself in. Hoshi was ashamed for his garbage skills and he felt so sorry to imaging how painful this was going to be for Seokmin's. However, Seokmin was surprisingly soft and relaxed. Hoshi's exciting movement left a row of crescent nail marks on Seokmin's thigh. Seokmin completely took Hoshi's penis inside of him.  
Hoshi gently pulled away Seokmin's hand which was covering his mouth. He could clearly see a few teeth marks on it.  
"Why are you holding back? I love your voice."  
Seokmin seemed to relax in an instant. He let out a long and clear moan, which sounded like the vibrato of the thinnest string on the guitar. The sound tangled with the mist in the air created by intense sexual activity. The texture of the Seokmin’s voice made Hoshi even more excited. He rampaged in Seokmin’s body, trying to get more of those beautiful responses. Seokmin's muscles contracted a lot due to his nervousness, but the friction only gave Hoshi more pleasure and made him want to go even deeper.  
Hoshi stared at Seokmin's wet dark brown hair. He thought he had never seen Seokmin dye his hair into light color.  
He is so pretty. He would look good with light-colored hair.  
Seokmin's body temperature was still rising, and so was Hoshi. The biggest heat source was where the two conjoined. The water made their bodies more lubricated, and at the same time filled the entire bathroom with a layer of mist, as if what was happening now should not be known to the outside world. Seokmin's body rubbed on the glass wall rhythmically, making a high pitch noise, as if the glass was chuckling and complaining how long this had been going on and how much water they had waste. Hoshi lowered his head to kiss Seokmin and looked forward to his reply. But Seokmin's attention was distracted by the pleasure coming from deep inside his body: he didn't even notice Hoshi's kisses.  
Hoshi thrust into Seokmin's body crazily, entangling the two bodies even deeper. Seokmin's penis was squeezed into Hoshi's lower abdomen as Hoshi hip-thrusted again and again as if he was dancing on stage. Some greasy mucus exuded from the tip of Seokmin's penis.  
Hoshi suddenly pulled out from Seokmin's body and grasped Seokmin's penis. As he stroked it up and down, Seokmin's throat let out a deep growl.  
His fingers passed through Hoshi's hair and held it tightly, then slowly pulled Hoshi's entire head back, revealing Hoshi's sexy neck. Hoshi, who was originally just a little shorter than Seokmin, now needs to look up at Seokmin.  
This was the first time Seokmin made his request during the whole sex process. With those dark bloodshot eyes, he looked at Hoshi who was still touching his penis.  
“Kneel..…”  
Hoshi gradually kneeled on the wet ground and slowly took Seokmin's penis into his mouth.  
He heard Seokmin breathe in cold air.  
Summer nights are always so intoxicating. The dark sky was covered with shining stars, which was particularly dazzling that night. A bright moon hung high in the air, gleaming a faint light like flimsy yarn. The scenery outside the house was so elegant. On the contrary, the scenery inside the house was way too erotic.  
At first, Seokmin was just panting, so Hoshi mischievously used the tip of his tongue to spin around the tip of Seokmin’s penis. More fluid gushed from the tip of Seokmin's penis. Hoshi took a deep breath and swallowed Seokmin's penis to the deepest part of his throat. Seokmin groaned like singing, and whispered, "Deeper…go deeper…”  
Before Seokmin had noticed, Hoshi already put two fingers into Seokmin's body. When Seokmin was all focused on the oral sex part, Hoshi’s fingers started moving in a sudden. The sudden stimulus made Seokmin let out a high-frequency breath, and then took a long, comfortable sigh. Seokmin's shoulder blades wrinkled the sheets while he groaned and twitched on Hoshi’s bed. His pink fingertips clutched the glass hardly, leaving his palm print on the misty glass, just like what happened in the Titanic. Hoshi stood up to kiss Seokmin's lips again in his sobbing sound and replaced the job of his mouth with his other hand. He licked Seokmin's teeth with the bleeding wound on the tip of his tongue. Seokmin did not bite Hoshi this time, but Hoshi masochistically pressed Seokmin's teeth with his wound. Seokmin carefully closed his lips and teeth to avoid Hoshi's suicidal-like attack. While biting on Hoshi's lower lip, Seokmin came it into Hoshi's hand as he trembled.  
Hoshi raised his hand and looked at the thin, translucent mucus in his palm. His gaze at Seokmin, and smiled. Before Seokmin could stop him, Hoshi had already licked the mucus from his palms into his stomach.  
Seokmin's cum tasted bitter, like orange peel.  
Seokmin looked particularly messy after sex. His hair was sticking on to his forehead with sweat and water, and Hoshi's fingerprints and hickeys were left on his dark skin, which made him looked extra pornographic.  
Hoshi pinched Seokmin by the back of his neck and turned him over, making Seokmin attached to the glass with his back facing Hoshi. Only then did Hoshi pull out the two fingers that were still in Seokmin's body and used his penis instead to enter Seokmin's body again. Seokmin's waist collapsed softly but then arched like a cat because of Hoshi's entering. Hoshi folded Seokmin's arms behind his back and clasped his two wrists with one hand. His other hand was set aside to wander on Seokmin's sensitive back skin.  
Seokmin is very skinny. Hoshi didn't understand why Seokmin's long and slender body looked so tiny as if he was about to break into pieces. While watching Seokmin's warm breath leaving bursts of condensation on the glass, Hoshi speeded up his movements. At that moment, Hoshi can’t stop thinking about Seokmin saying "I love you". Because of that, Seokmin's remaining cum in his mouth also seemed to be sweet as honey all of a sudden.  
Hoshi finally came on Seokmin’s inner thigh. Seokmin was so tired that he couldn't make a sound. His legs trembled from the long-term tension that he could no longer stand properly. His chest went violently up and down while he breathed, but his face was full of smiles and tenderness after lovemaking. Hoshi hugged Seokmin into his chest as he listens to his breathing gradually subsided.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

The next day Hoshi woke up at about 5 pm. The cold bath and the shower sex caused Hoshi to have the hardest fever in summer. Hoshi wandered groggily from the bedroom to the living room.  
Seokmin has been taking care of him these days, and now he went out in the rain because he had to buy medicine for Hoshi. Hoshi is the only one home now.  
This feels just like his old life before Seokmin moved in with him.  
Did I really live such a lonely life before?  
It was raining outside, just a usual summer thunderstorm. The raindrops hit the roof, reminding Hoshi of seventeen's footsteps during dance practices. Suddenly, there was a thunder in the distance. Hoshi raised his head and looked out the window. The gray cloth-like cumulonimbus cloud in the sky was split apart by the lightning as if it was a dangling knife cutting across the gray cloth. As soon as the lightning faded, the house under the dark clouds shuddered, as if the thunder just split the earth apart. Lightning flashed by and rain kept pouring down, like a river flowing down from the sky fiercely.  
Hoshi was extremely worried about Seokmin's safety in this weather.  
Regardless of his fever and dizzy head, Hoshi grabbed an umbrella and rushed out the door.  
The heavy rain poured like a basin of water, rustling. After a while, small bubbles appeared in a small puddle on the ground. Hoshi called Seokmin in the rain, but no one answered. The car was taken for repairs, and Seokmin's motorcycle could not be ridden in the rain. Hoshi didn't know how long it would take him to walk to the nearest pharmacy.  
The rain was getting bigger and bigger, lightning and thunder kept coming in the rain. The flowers and trees outdoors seemed to be restless, swaying, and panicking.  
As time passed, the anxiety in Hoshi’s heart repeatedly beat his nerves. Despite having an umbrella, the rain still got into Hoshi's clothes beyond the control of physical rules.  
Finally, on a road where few people walked, Hoshi saw Seokmin.  
He was wearing one of Hoshi's jackets. The zipper was pulled up to the top, the turned-up collar covered the lower half of his face. Hoshi couldn’t see Seokmin’s expression, but in the dark, he could still see Seokmin's bendy eyes when he smiles.  
"Soonyoung! Why did you run out? Come on let’s go back. Don't worry, your medicine is wrapped in my clothes. It's not wet at all!"  
“3 hours and 17 minutes…” In the rain, Hoshi's voice seemed a little weak, “That’s how long you left me along…"  
Until he got home and Seokmin wrapped him in a huge bath towel, Hoshi's intensely uneasy heartbeat still didn't stabilize.  
Seokmin didn't seem to be bothered by the storm. He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed to wipe Hoshi's hair with the towel he found. He was still blaming Hoshi for running out.  
Hoshi sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Seokmin's right hand, kissing his fingertips and wrist.  
"Why are you doing this? You can yell at me, you can beat me up, but don't you leave me, OK? Don’t make me worry about you anymore, my dear Seokmin.”  
The sick Hoshi was surprisingly childish. He begged Seokmin to put his hand on his left chest. With his head resting on Seokmin’s left knee, Hoshi clung to Seokmin like a fern looking for water.  
Seokmin raised Hoshi's face with his other hand and hugged Hoshi. Hoshi smelled the lemon taste again.  
Seokmin's hug was as warm as usual, even if both of them were soaked in the rain. Hoshi almost shed tears in Seokmin's arms.  
"I will always be here, Soonyoung. I will always be with you."  
The rain outside the window has stopped, but the story of Hoshi and Seokmin has just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plz leave comments~ :D


	7. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No sex.  
> Just sad.

Jihoon accompanied Seungcheol to the hotel. They wore masks and hoodies, so no one knew who they were.  
Many people came here with things they wanted to leave here to say goodbye to Jeonghan and placed the things under a small memorial pavilion built with rattan and wooden structures in the back garden of the hotel. In the pavilion, there were photos of Jeonghan displayed by fans, CARAT light sticks, handwritten letters, and flowers.  
This is the last day to commemorate Jeonghan, and today is also Liberation Day. At nine o'clock tonight, the pavilion will be burned down.  
Jeonghan, who has lived in this world for 24 years, was only worthy of mourning for 3 days after his death.   
Everyone will return to their normal life after this as if they were just collectively caught in a sad dream.  
The crowd gathered under the darkening sky. Jihoon patted Seungcheol, who was sitting on the ground.   
Seungcheol let go of his clenched palm. A Seventeen ring fell silently in the pavilion from his palm.   
He left his ring, and kept Jeonghan’s, just like how Jeonghan took part of him away and left a piece of soul to Seungcheol.  
Seungcheol touched his own chest, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, pulled Jihoon back beyond the cordon. Seungcheol never felt so empty inside. He was so reluctant to know the fact that PLEDIS is going to burn the last memory Jeonghan left to the world: the pavilion. But there was nothing he could do. The company did not force them to take this opportunity to engage in an activity but allowed them to move freely. This was already the greatest tolerance.   
Seungcheol turned his head and glanced at the other members scattered in the crowd. He saw Wonwoo and Mingyu standing far to his left, holding hands. Minghao and Jun in black suits and hats, standing in the crowd on the right. Across the opposite side of the pavilion are Hoshi and Seokmin and Dino; Seokmin put his hand on Hoshi's shoulder, and Hoshi's left hand held Dino's hand. Vernon and Seungkwan stand in front of him on the left, embracing.  
It took him a long time to find where Joshua was standing.   
He was alone, holding a bunch of flowers and staring at the pavilion.  
Jeonghan’s departure seemed to have removed an important screw from a working machine.  
The whole machine broke down.  
He saw Joshua noticed his gaze and looked back at him.  
Seungcheol couldn't understand the emotion in Joshua's eyes.

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The flame slowly swept up from the bottom of the memorial pavilion. Along the cracks of the wooden structure, the flame protruded into the dark sky.  
Seungcheol stared at the silent fire. He swears he saw Jeonghan's figure in the flame. Jeonghan looked up and smiling slyly at Seungcheol, then waved his hand: there in his fist, was a bunch of long hair. In the fire, Jeonghan's figure seemed to be waving a banner of death and parting. He threw the cut long hair into the waving flame and disappeared completely.   
Seungcheol heard a faint cracking sound in his ear. Perhaps it was his own ring groaning in the fire as if it was singing the last song to say goodbye to their love.  
All the fire sparks changed their direction when the wind blew. They drifted towards the distant stars.   
Seungcheol knew that the sparks all disappeared in the air and will never return.

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Seungkwan was hugged by Vernon from behind. They stood a little further away from the fire, with Vernon's chin resting on top of Seungkwan’s head. Vernon remembered that when he got the arrangement to go to the US, his first reaction was that it would be impossible for him to accept separation from Seungkwan.   
At that moment, he knew that he was in love with Seungkwan.  
Seungkwan heard the sound of inhalation above his head, and turned around, only to found Vernon was crying. He wanted to comfort Vernon, but when he moved his lips, he realized that he was also crying.   
He didn't know if it was because of the departure of Jeonghan's soul or the upcoming separation with Vernon.   
Seungkwan was aware of his insignificance in this whole society after all the things that happened. He touched Vernon's tears, like insects touching each other's tentacles.   
Seventeen's debut experience in the past 5 years seemed like an overly grand interstellar trip to Seungkwan. And now they all have to return to their ground headquarters in different places.  
The burning flames made this separation even more figurative. The ability of empathy made Seungkwan overwhelmed by great sorrow.  
"We will meet again," Seungkwan stood on tiptoe and kissed Vernon's cheek. “I don’t care when or where, but we will meet. Maybe it will be in the United States in a few days, or it will be on a reality show in a few years; maybe we will meet in fossil after a hundred years. I don’t care.”   
“Well nobody thought that Jeonghan would leave us in this way…” Vernon turned his head to one side. Whether it is because of the residue of the flame that has blurred his eyes, or because of the sadness in his heart, his eyes shed a few reluctant tears.  
Seungkwan turns Vernon's neck with his hand to force him to look at Seungkwan’s eyes and holds Vernon's face in his hand. The wind at night made Seungkwan's hands a little cold, even shivering, "I don't care about time and location. I will always love you until the end of the world. You must not forget me, Hansol, please…”  
Vernon lowered his head and looked into Seungkwan's eyes.  
He can only see the stars reflected in Seungkwan's black eyes.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Hoshi and Seokmin stood on the other side of the fire. They watched the shadow of the pavilion grew smaller as time goes by.  
They don't know what to say or do.  
Seokmin's shoes taped on the ground like he was taping along with music, as if the constant movement could cover up his uneasiness. He had an impulse to run into the burning pavilion and grab Jeonghan who was hiding in the pavilion and beat him up immediately.  
Why are you doing such a garbage prank on us? Come out, hyung!   
Please…?  
Hoshi looked at Seokmin's face. This is the first time that Hoshi couldn't find a smile on his face.  
The fire at night made tears more easily to come out. But Hoshi resisted his grief, because he had someone to protect.  
He has to protect Seokmin.  
He was not allowed to break down.  
Suddenly, Dino's sobbing voice came from his right side, "Hyung, everything will be OK, right? Everything's going to get better, right? " Hoshi forced a smile and said, "Yes, life goes on. We're all going to be OK. "  
But when those words came out of his lips, his heart roared as if those words were insults to his true thoughts.  
How can it be OK!? How is that possible?  
Jeonghan is dead!  
DEAD!  
Everything is different!  
Seventeen will never go back!  
As if it would wipe out the sound in his heart, Hoshi kept murmuring, "It's OK, it's going to be well. We're all OK. Everybody's fine. The future will be better... "  
The incantational repetition of words made Hoshi's face look a little crazy in the light of the fire. His hand, which held Dino's hand, trembled slightly.  
No one noticed that he clenched his other hand so hard that his nails were deeply embedded in the flesh of his hand. The blood dropped on the ground in-between him and Seokmin as if this was a sacrificial activity to bring the dead back to life.  
Terrified by his overreaction, Dino leaned his head against Hoshi’s right shoulder. Hoshi felt the cloth on his right shoulder gradually soaked in cold liquid.  
Suddenly, a warm hand held his bleeding left hand.  
Hoshi turned left and saw Seokmin's firm, warm expression.  
Finally, he could not help but let the tears that had been hidden for so long all flowed out of his eyes.  
Seokmin didn't speak. He slowly broke Hoshi’s fingers apart and slid his fingers in-between Hoshi’s fingers.  
Blended with blood, the two palms held together, like they were growing into a combined individual.  
The fire went out.

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On the plane, Vernon fondled with Seungkwan's ring.  
Seventeen disbanded. Seungkwan and Vernon exchanged their tail rings. The plane left the land of South Korean behind the takeoff line. The engine hit the air as if they were singing a grumpy parting song.  
Vernon yawned leaning against the window, staring into the faint dust and smoke in the distance, calculating how long it would take to come back again. He touched Seungkwan's ring on his finger and seemed to still feel Seungkwan's body temperature on the ring. He closed his eyes and took a hard breath. He thought about him, and them. They were connected, breathing freely as a huge combination of destiny.  
Vernon suddenly felt that time and space were too insignificant.  
They would meet again eventually.  
Whether in the United States or South Korea, or in the underground fossil fuels, or in the ethereal universe, he felt that it didn't matter.   
He put on his headphones.  
Home by Seventeen started playing in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more chapters coming soon!!!  
> Thanks for reading. Comments are welcome!!!   
> :D

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys~  
> This is my first time writing fanfic, so I borrowed some ideas from pictures and other fanfic. There are a lot of good writers out there, and I really want to learn from them.  
> I already finished this whole fanfic, but I don't want to upload it unless people like it (because I have a fragile heart you people...).  
> Please don't judge me. I'm happy and willing to accept all kinds of suggestions and advice. Comments are appreciated. Thank you! <3


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